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1. DON'T wear something you don't feel drop dead
gorgeous in.
How much fun can you have if you have to monitor how
many bites of food because just one more might be
the fatal one that bursts the seams on your skintight
dress- like the Hoover Dam? And always having to remember
not to raise your arm no matter what happens is no
picnic because your last clean shirt has a hole in
the armpit and you haven't seen a sewing kit since
you last visited your grandmother in Toluca Lake...Why,
that would be worse than this run-on sentence.
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2. DON'T wear colored contacts on a first date.
One of my guy friends told me a story of a first date
with a lovely women who possessed, you guessed it,
the most beautiful eyes... He made sure to compliment
her eyes more than once, and after that first date,
they agreed to see each other again. Sure enough,
the next time he saw her, he noticed that her eyes
were just an average shade of gray, nothing special,
(which was fine), but he had felt so embarrassed praising
her on something that wasn't really hers, I guess
it stuck with him, and they eventually drifted apart.
3. DON'T mention your last boyfriend/girlfriend
six hundred times.
For that matter, don't mention anyone else of the
opposite sex if you can help it. I remember one of
my worst dates with a guy who had managed to talk
about four different women he implied were interested
in him at the time. Needless to say, that was the
last date he had with me. It just comes off as insecurity.
If the other person is on the date with you, chances
are they find some value in you. You don't need to
point out the fact that you are, in fact, desired
by all.
4. DON'T talk about yourself too much.
It's true that one of the best ways you can get some
one to pay rapt attention to you is to ask them lots
of questions about themselves. It's amazing how well
this works. Yet when you're nervous, you might have
a tendency to babble on about your life endlessly,
as you don't have to think that much to pull that
information out of your head. And of course, we all
know not to do this when we think about it. I can't
remember ever hearing "Gee, she only wanted to
talk about ME all night!...how boring!"
5. DON'T talk wistfully about how many children
you'd like to have...
I've known men and women alike who do this. I
feel it's important to find out if a possible relationship
candidate shares your goals, but save it for a few
dates down the line, after you've decided that you
might actually have the potential to get along with
this new person. Just concentrate on having fun for
now!
6. If it's a blind date, DON'T compare yourself
to anyone famous, looks-wise.
Now we all know this never works the way we'd
like it to. Sure, most of us all have someone famous
we're compared to. With me, it's usually Jodie Foster
meets Gillian Anderson. I can live with that. But
personality-wise, apparently I'm Carla from Cheers,
Mrs. Roper, and Elaine from Seinfeld all rolled into
one. Those comparisons are obviously wrong...Ha! My
point? Most people look like a more slightly skewed
version of these famous stars. I have never met anyone
who really looked like the fabulous celebrity they
said they looked like. So proceed with caution. Unless,
of course, you are drop dead gorgeous, then you can
say the famous ones look like you...
7. DON'T check out other people!
Ah, nothing is more that a turn-off than to be
out on a date with someone and notice him checking
out the girl with the cleavage right in front of your
face! It might not happen often, and it's usually
another sign of insecurity, but if it does, I usually
try to have a smart alecky comment handy, maybe something
like "you know, if you hurry, you can get that
girl to autograph the bucket of drool that's accumulating
as we speak. Go ahead, I'll wait..."
8. DON'T drink too much!
The best example I can think of is to rent that
classic gem 'Blind date' with Kim Basinger and Bruce
Willis. She's the girl of his dreams until she has
a bit too much champagne, at his prompting... Before
you know it, he's lost his job, suit, apartment, car
and reputation. It probably wouldn't go that far,
but no-one likes to see you get that loose before
they even get to know you. If the date sucks, then
drink when you get home!
9. DON'T assume that he/she will automatically
grab for the check.
I hear different stories on this one, but just
to play it safe, no matter who invites whom, it's
always a nice gesture to offer to pay for half the
check even if you didn't do the asking. I suppose
it works like this... If the date is going well, the
asker will tell you not to be ridiculous and will
grab the check, but if it's yet another date from
hell, the asker will probably want the askee to cough
up some cash. My personal philosophy is to always
offer, as it is a new age and I do have a decent job.
If he pays, and I like him, I'll offer something in
return like a picnic or an invite for a home-cooked
meal.
10. DON'T jump into the sack!
You know, the older I get, the more moralistic
I become. Yeah, I know, it's a sign of old age. It
scares me, and I've made a few mistakes, but this
one I have to stand by. The thing is, I think this
rule bothers men far more than women. Because, guys,
if we like you a lot, and we see promise, we're going
to lean towards wanting to sleep with you at some
point. It doesn't mean we've had sexual relations
with entire football teams, but we don't lose respect
for you like you say you might do for us. The fact
that men seem uncomfortable with sleeping with a potential
Ms. Right on the first date is something I don't question,
that's just the way it is. It's always better to savor
anticipation.
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